Snape's night off
by amicusheeding
Summary: Professor Snape attempts to enjoy a night off, but his plans are destroyed by an uproarous party being given by an obnoxious, bisexual, vampire.


Professor Severus Snape was at home. It was around Christmas break and he actually decided to take some time off to go be alone in his own dwelling. He hardly ever did this; he was found almost perpetually at the Hogwarts school. Mainly because he had nothing else to do, and because sometimes he could get a tad bit – gasp! – lonely. So he'd just stay in the school building with the rest of the teachers fighting off loneliness by completely ignoring them. This year was different.

He decided that he had grown tired of staying in the tight, drafty room that Dumbledore had offered him, and it was time that he take advantage of the place he actually owned. Everything had been preplanned for weeks. He would eat a nice, quiet dinner without Mc Gonnagall going on about her house's Quidditch team, then he would read in his own little study without having to hear Flitwick's rants and raves about all the different charms books that _he _had read, after that he would enjoy a nice glass of wine – aged to perfection – without Dumbledore going into one of his long, wild bar stories with his brother. And last of all, he would enjoy a silent, peaceful, good night's sleep in his own bedroom.

Well, the first three things worked out splendidly, but the last took a turn for the worst. After a mere three hours into the night, he was awakened by a loud, uproarious sound. His eyes burst open, and he looked around in bewilderment. It sounded like music, but it was very far away. In fact, he could only hear the deep bass parts pounding and pulsing from wherever it was. Well, far as it was, it wasn't anywhere near far enough. Snape threw his blanket off himself, stepped into his slippers, and stormed over to the window. Sure enough, there was an array of lights littering the woods, they could be seen peering through the trees.

"Some sort of party," he snapped under his breath. At that he made a swift turn and headed for his closet. He had one of his usual black robes in there, which he pulled out and flung over himself. It was a bit small, it had been left carelessly in there for years. His shoulders felt a little squeezed, but he just shrugged them once or twice and headed for his bedroom door. He stormed down the hall, down the stairs, and out of his house. He had a feeling that he knew who was throwing this dastardly party, and he wasn't afraid of them one bit.

Snape made his way through the woods, taking large strides and growling low to himself every so often. He followed the lights and the revolting music, which was actually a rather obnoxious song that he wouldn't be familiar with by name. But us muggles might know this song as "I like to move it, move it." The closer Snape got to the madness the louder it got until it was almost intolerable. The only thing that kept him moving was the thought of his precious sleep's rescue.

Finally, he found himself standing next to the mansion. It wasn't just any mansion either, it was the mansion of Zef Zefner, the notorious, bisexual, vampire. He was having another one of his boisterous parties in celebration of absolutely nothing in particular

Zef Zefner was extremely old and rich. He owned a large mansion and a large sum of money. He also owned an unnatural lust which would have been revolting enough at his age, but proved itself to be even more excruciating with the fact that he was attracted to both women and men. To add to this repulsing mix, he was also a blood sucking, heart wrenching, extremely lazy, vampire. Despite his failing looks, his prestige encouraged both men and women alike to flock to him and join in the ridiculous parties that he would throw.

Well, Snape wasn't going to put up with it. He walked over to the front door and pounded on it. A young, hansom, male vampire opened it. He had black spiky hair and almost glowing white fangs that rested on his lips almost elegantly.

"What's up?" He crooned as he opened the door wider letting more gusts of the over-powering music swarm all around Snape.

"What's up?!" Snape growled, feeling his hand fly up automatically as if he were about to send him a blow. "I demand that you turn this infernal noise down to a respectable –"

"What's going on?" A girl with long blonde hair and positively gorgeous fangs asked walking up to them both.

"Oh, it's this bloke here, he wants us to do something… Er, what is it that you wanted?"

Before the infuriated Snape could even reply, the blonde woman got a good look at Snape and gasped. "Ohmigosh!" she screeched. "Look how cuuute! Are you a vampire?!"

"No! I-"

"Oh, that's alright, think nothing of it, we've got plenty of blood as it is. Come see Zefy, he'll just _love _you!"

And before Snape could begin his violent protest, she snatched his arm and started to drag him away. He dragged his feet and shouted incoherently, but other than that there wasn't much he could do. She was unbelievably strong.

The first guy who opened the door stood back looking confused for a moment, then he frowned a bit, shrugged, shut the door back, and ran back in shouting a friend's name so he could continue enjoying the party.


End file.
